Knitting commission… Yes or no????

Hi everyone,
I’m in a pretty “tricky” situation right now. An “acquaintance” asked me two months ago if I could knit a Norwegian cardigan. I told her, “No, that would be too much pressure for me because I’d end up getting too tense with the needles.” A short time later, she wanted to knit a sweater with that yarn but couldn’t get the increases on the yoke right.... Of course I helped her… then radio silence. Two weeks later, she said she’d actually like a jacket after all and asked if I could take a look at the yarn… The day before yesterday she called me—she said she hadn’t been in touch for a while because she’d ordered yarn for a Norwegian cardigan that she now wants me to knit…
  First of all, I feel completely caught off guard, and second, I have absolutely no idea what I should charge for it if I were to knit it....
(She’d already asked another acquaintance who also sets up at markets and sells there, but the 200€ was too much for her. That’s the total cost, including the yarn, measuring, and everything else.)
What would you do now???? 

I’d tell her straight up that I’m not doing it. The way she’s acting, you can’t even be sure she’ll pay you afterward. That lady just wants to take advantage of you. And if she gets offended afterward, it’s no big deal.

Thanks for your reply....
I’m really not good at “this kind of thing.”
At least this time I noticed that something wasn’t quite “right,” but I still couldn’t really figure it out.
I’m still learning to say “no” and to actually stick to it... 

If you don’t say “no” to her, you’re indirectly saying “no” to yourself. 
People often aren’t aware of that.
And the idea that €200 is too much for the materials and all the work involved also says something about how much she values your work. If you were to calculate a fair hourly wage, that amount wouldn’t even cover it...

Steffi, it sounds to me like you really don’t want to do this at all.
Then just don’t do it—otherwise, you’ll just end up getting annoyed while working on the project and definitely won’t be able to approach it in a relaxed way.

Or is this person so important to you that you absolutely want to do her this favor despite everything, even though you’ll probably get hardly any thanks for it afterward?

Do yourself a favor and listen to your gut.

If 200€ is too much for her, it seems like she either doesn’t see the work that goes into it or isn’t willing to pay accordingly.

If I were you, I’d politely decline.

I agree with the previous commenters: DON’T DO IT!!!!
I had a similar situation once when a friend asked me to sew her a blazer. She’s a bit on the short side, so there wasn’t a pattern that fit her, and I would’ve had to create the pattern from scratch. When I told her I’d want at least 200 DM for it, she said, “For that money, I might as well go to C&A and buy one myself.” I just said, “Fine, go ahead—but I’M NOT shortening the sleeves for you!”
Just for the pattern alone, it would have taken me about 8 hours, then the cutting—since, as was fashionable back then, it had epaulets, sleeve tabs, and patch pockets, including a chest pocket with a flap, and a waistband in the back. Just the cutting alone would have taken another day, and then the sewing would have taken at least 3–4 days, since I was still working full-time at the time. I told her, “Do the math—would you work for that hourly wage?” She looked at me wide-eyed and said, “No,” and I replied, “Me neither.”

Love, Inge

I wouldn’t do it either—after all, you’ve already said “no” once. Plus, there’s a risk that she might not be 100% satisfied with it afterward and refuse to pay.
Woolly regards
Irene

Exactly, the answer is simple: No!

I agree with everything that’s been said so far.
I only do favors like this for my closest family. And if I do it for others, it’s only for a fair price, within a reasonable timeframe that I set, and above all, only with payment in advance!

Taking you by surprise like that is pretty cheeky. On principle alone, I wouldn’t lift a finger.

I wouldn’t do it either! I’ve been asked to knit socks before—which I can do, but absolutely hate doing. I turned it down even though it was hard, but I’ve made a firm resolution to only invest my time in projects that I truly enjoy. In your case, I’d also think the risk is too high that the lady in question might try to renegotiate the price later because it might not meet her expectations 100%. You’ll be really annoyed if you accept the order.

I totally agree. This woman won’t appreciate the time and effort you put into this. She’s already ignoring your first “no”...
Do yourself a favor and let it go.

Oh man, Ina. People like that are so annoying. Think about your physical and mental health and just stay away from it.
If they get offended, great. With any luck, you’ll be spared this in the future.

Thanks, everyone ☺️
I’m going to let her very brazen attempt fall flat...
She’s going to be really mad because she was “exposed.”
Now I can’t stop thinking, “What if I misunderstood her and she just wanted me to look at the yarn and maybe help out a little...” and the next moment I know for sure, “No, that’s not what she meant—she just doesn’t know how to do it.”
She’ll definitely call on Saturday, and after that she’ll never ask again.
Did I even mention that she also asked if I “happened to know anyone who could embroider a tablecloth for her”? 🙈
Well, I certainly don’t... 

We live in a world where machine-knitted garments are everywhere. This also shapes our relationship with knitting. Experience shows that beginners base their expectations on what they already know and try to imitate the tight, perfectly even stitch pattern produced by machines.

I think the lady simply overestimated her abilities and went from commissioning a knitted item to doing it DIY, then to asking for help, and ultimately ended up with a pile of expenses that she’ll probably only be able to give away.

I’d praise her for her ambition and the progress she’s made, and recommend a small project that she, as a beginner, could finish in just a few days using that yarn. Or rather, she should pick something out for herself—there’s plenty to choose from.

Thank you, you really helped me a lot 😊 
Yesterday I had a super short phone call.... I simply asked her whether she was assuming that I was supposed to knit the cardigan. She said, "yes, that would be so kind of you." When I then told her that I had already said no ages ago, all I got was a sulky "okay then" and afterward a "then I bought the yarn for nothing." There was no clarification. It was the shortest conversation ever. Before that (when she wanted something), she had been very chatty about all kinds of things. 
And yet I still feel a little guilty (I can't really place it) 
At least my current project is growing 

Steffi, you don’t need to have a weird feeling or any feeling at all about this matter.  You clearly said NO right from the start, and if she didn’t want to hear that or thought she wouldn’t accept that no from you, then that’s her problem and not yours

Best regards, Inge

There’s absolutely no need to feel bad about this, dear Steffi.

The yarn is her business.
She probably bought it with the thought, “Steffi will take care of it.”

Steffi, you’re too good for this world! Don’t let her make you feel guilty! It’s okay to say “no” to a request, and if she doesn’t understand that—that’s her problem. 

You guys are so sweet 💓
If she’d asked me a year ago, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed 🙈
I’m curious to see if she’ll come to the knitting get-together on Thursday. She hasn’t been there in ages, and somehow I’ve started to miss sitting together, chatting, and knitting.... 

Dear Steffi, that’s her problem, not yours. You’re one of those people where people assume that “no” actually means “yes.” I’ve been there too, which is why I can understand why you feel bad about it.

I guess you just have to accept that manipulative people exist and learn not to blame yourself. The best part is: it gets easier with time! 🤗