Padded cups for kids—am I losing my mind?

Hi, everyone!
Sorry, but I just need to vent a little right now. I hope you don’t hold it against me—maybe I’m just a little too old-fashioned—but:
I was out shopping with my daughter yesterday; she’s almost 11 now and wanted bustiers instead of undershirts.
I was shocked to find that almost every store was stocked almost exclusively with PADDED CHILDREN’S BRAS. Starting at size 128, with lace and all kinds of variations.
Did I miss something? I mean, it’s not like you have to pad CHILDREN! What happened to those good old bustiers for the start of puberty???
After a looooot of searching, we actually found two simple sets, but I’m still upset. Do little girls really have to start faking it already? Maybe you guys see it differently—I’m really curious to hear your opinions (and if anyone knows a good store where you can still get unpadded bustiers, I’d be grateful for any tips)
Best, your Nadeleule
Mel

Hi Mel,

I totally get where you’re coming from. My daughter is only 8, but I had the same problem with sandals at the start of summer. I searched for four weeks before I finally found some without heels that fit her.
  Fashion aside, kids—and even older children—are still far from being little ladies. (Though I do like to joke about that with my little one.) And that’s why, in my opinion, they don’t need to be dressed up like that—whether they want to or not.
Thanks to shows like *Germany’s Next Top Model* and the like, that idea is practically fed to them.
  That reminds me—I heard somewhere that the target audience for these shows is girls between 3 and 14. I don’t know if that was meant seriously, but I was stunned.

Now, finally, on to the bustiers. Ernstings should have some, and I think I’ve already seen some at Action.

Best regards and good luck with your search, Birgit 

@ Birgit: It’s nice to know there are still “old-fashioned people” like me out there :D
Ernstings was the first place I went to yesterday… but they ONLY had padded children’s bras. I’ll try my luck at Action—we have several of those stores nearby. And soon, 3-year-olds will be going to daycare wearing makeup… where is all this headed???

Hi Mel,
Since we only have boys in our family, I hadn’t really noticed the trend of padded bras for girls. I have noticed, though, that it seems like padded bras are all that’s available for women these days, and since I don’t really like them, I ordered some unpadded ones from a catalog. Maybe they have something in children’s sizes there, too.
Best wishes, Jana

Hi everyone,

I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I totally get where you’re coming from.

I wouldn’t want my daughter—if I had one—to walk around looking like a little Lolita either.

I can really only shake my head when I sometimes walk through town and see girls around 14 years old strutting around in miniskirts or hot pants—and I wonder where they even fit their underwear underneath.

This might be a bit off-topic from the original question, but the “sex sells” madness really should stop when it comes to children.

I think decorative children’s makeup is just as ridiculous.

I saw it again just the other day: a complete makeup palette “for especially young skin.” Not just carnival stuff, but real lip gloss, mascara, blush, and so on.

What on earth does an 8- to 10-year-old need that for???

I also have a young lady in my circle of friends who’s been letting her daughter go to school wearing makeup for a year now... The daughter is in second grade... Not to mention hot pants and very “grown-up” tops...

In my opinion, that’s not necessary.

Unfortunately, I can’t answer your question—I don’t know where you can find things like that... sorry. 

So, first things first. Maybe have a look at Ernstings’ online shop. I got that information from Google. But I can well imagine that the unpadded ones are bought less often and therefore just aren’t kept in stock in the stores.

Hehe, I like “old-fashioned” — I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you very much. Actually, where we live, I’m probably the coolest mom around (at least at first glance), but at the same time I’m often also the fussiest when it comes to my views.

My daughter has makeup too (real makeup, because I took that parrot-colored cardboard stuff away from her, and she’s not getting mine), and the girls have huge fun putting on makeup and doing their hair, and ideally also pulling the Sunday dress out of the wardrobe. And up to that point, I’m okay with it too.

BUT no 8-year-old of mine is going out the door wearing makeup! Not even for 5 minutes straight across the street back home. And not even if the powder and mascara (dried out — because I’m even smarter than the girls) are hardly visible. By now, all her friends are used to that too and know where the wet wipes are. :-D

I don’t think strictly forbidding everything is always good. Whatever it is, a little rule-bending and clear boundaries are OK for me.
I hope that attitude will work out. So far, things are still going quite well with the 10-year-old boys. For the boys, I’m (at least for the moment) someone who goes along with almost any nonsense, but when it’s enough, it’s enough. And much more important to me is that they listen when I come out with, “Hey, I know that’s cool, but ... and that’s why you should leave it alone. I’ve already fallen flat on my face often enough!”

Hi Nadeleule,

I saw several children’s bustiers on www.bonprix.de. At least the descriptions didn’t mention any padding.

Would that be something for you? If necessary, you can always send everything back...

Best wishes

Actually, I’ve always considered myself pretty laid-back, and now it’s not my own kids who are driving me up the wall, but the clothes marketed to kids....
We’ve also had discussions here about makeup. My daughter wanted children’s makeup; I didn’t allow it because that stuff is suspected of being carcinogenic, and I think it’s over the top at that age. When she started 5th grade at the Gymnasium, one girl was wearing makeup and was looked at strangely by everyone else because of it. She hasn’t worn makeup since.
I gave my daughter an empty mascara wand. She wets it with water and “coats” her eyelashes with it. She thinks she looks so chic, and I’m happy with that :D I should add that I don’t wear much makeup myself (just mascara and eyeliner).
During Carnival, the young lady can wear a little more.

I’ll take a look online to see if I can find something there—thank you so much for the tips (especially to those of you who are “childless” yourselves and took the time to look around for me). 

Hi, so we’re not quite at the puberty stage here yet, but I also often struggle to find the right, age-appropriate outfit.

I think even an 11- or 12-year-old doesn’t need to dress like Madonna yet—padding her bust and wearing heels. Makeup is another issue—I’d say lip gloss is okay, but anything else is a no-go.

At 13 or 14, of course, it’ll be a whole different story, but even then, there’s no need to go overboard.

So I totally get what you’re talking about—I recently saw some simple bustiers at C&A.

So I’ll chime in too.

My daughter is 7 years old.
When it comes to new shoes, I’m often shocked because the size 32s have a higher heel than I’d ever wear.
But my little one looks up to her big brother and only wears shoes he thinks are cool. So she wears boys’ shoes—no heel, but with lots of flashing lights on the sole. I pray this situation lasts a long time.

I’m staying out of the underwear debate—we’re already having discussions because she’s already told me she definitely won’t wear undershirts in the winter. Well, I’ve put that off until it gets really cold.
Otherwise, when it comes to clothes, pants are the order of the day. Either long ones or ones that go down to the knee. So, as far as she’s concerned. And otherwise, mini-dresses for the summer, which is totally fine for a 7-year-old. It looks really cute, but it won’t work anymore as she gets older...
She loves maxi skirts—I guess I’m her role model there.

Makeup is out of the question for me. My cousin’s daughter hasn’t left the house without makeup since she was 10. Back then, I already thought to myself: definitely not my daughter.
That goes for her face and her nails.
But there’s no absolute ban. She has kids’ makeup, and I’m aware of the health risks—whether it’s kids’ makeup or regular makeup.
But when a friend comes over, they’re allowed to put on makeup (they end up looking like they’re on the warpath), though everything has to come off again after they’re done playing.
The first 2–3 times, it was a huge hit; now she’s not interested anymore, and the makeup lies untouched in a box under the bed.

I don’t really care if my daughter thinks I’m totally out of touch in a few years because I won’t let her go to school wearing makeup. School isn’t a runway.

I often tell my daughter the same thing: You’re going to school, not to a beauty pageant! 

@ Pe-ka: I had the same problem with undershirts with my son, too. I eventually gave up. Since then, he’s been wearing T-shirts underneath instead of undershirts. That was fine with him, and I don’t really care either way as long as he tucks it into his pants. 

...Even though I don’t have kids myself, here’s a tip: If your way-too-young girls ever want to go to school wearing makeup and you can’t stop them—let them do it. And as much as they want!

I did that once in secret when I was 11—I put on a ton of makeup: eyeshadow in a horrible shade of blue, eyeliner that looked terrible...

The stares and smirks from the other students were enough to make sure I didn’t feel like wearing makeup for a loooong time :D 

Dear Nadeleule,
I found unpadded bustiers at H&M.

Best, tina

Dear Tina, thank you so much! I’ll definitely make it to H&M next week