Sayings and Words of Wisdom

Hello, everyone,

I have just read Akela’s embroidered saying in the embroidery hoop. And her foster daughter has taken it with her for her practice. The saying is meant to go on the wall of a psychology practice there and whisper a thought to the viewer.

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How about you? Do you like sayings? Do they have an effect on you? Do you live by them? Do they stick with you? Do you have a favorite saying? Is there a saying that’s especially important to you and has guided you through life? Do sayings give you strength or “ground” you in certain situations?

Sayings are, after all, short, pithy summaries of wise thoughts. They’re easy to remember precisely because they get right to the heart of what’s essential in a given situation. They’re not novels, after all.

Which sayings have accompanied you through life? Do you have a favorite saying? If you quote them here, you’ll need to credit the author, of course, since it’s their intellectual property.

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Once the first three people have shared their thoughts here, I’ll tell you about a special saying that has helped me a lot. You can look forward to it.

Until then—best regards, Ina

My grandma always used to say to me, **“If you wash yourself with dirt, you won’t get clean.”** What she meant by that was that if I was looking for a man, I shouldn’t focus so much on what he has, but rather on what he is like. I have to say she was absolutely right; it has proven true time and again among the people around me, whether in my family or among close friends.
My father always used to say to me, “**What you can’t hold in your hand, you can’t take home or hold on to.**” He was referring to quite a few situations in life.
As a child or teenager, I sometimes laughed at the sayings and words of wisdom of the older generation or shook my head, but now I often catch myself saying to my own grandchildren exactly the same things they used to say to me.

Best regards, Inge

Oh, and one more thing: My grandma always used to tell us kids that if we wanted ice cream in the winter, we couldn’t have any—she said ice cream gives you fleas in your belly in the winter. :-) My youngest daughter just said to me the other day: *“Mom, I remembered that from Grandma Rosa—my little one doesn’t get any ice cream in the winter when we’re out either.”* :-) My kids got to spend many years with their great-grandma; my youngest was 8 when she passed away, so she knew her quite well.
Then when we were kids, we weren’t allowed to go swimming on St. Peter and St. Paul’s Day; she always used to say, *Peter and Paul have water in their mouths.* She’d even come over extra early in the morning to make sure we didn’t sneak out.

Best, Inge

Dear Inge,
What I like best about your post is that you say these sayings to your grandchildren today.
Maybe sayings and words of wisdom are tied to the older generation?
Best regards, Ina

Ina, let’s put it this way: if these sayings weren’t any good, they wouldn’t have survived through the generations to this day—at least not the ones that really mean something.

Love, Inge

Oh, how lovely that you’re telling us about your childhood. Our grandparents’ wise advice is among our fondest memories, isn’t it?

My grandma—born in 1910—always used to say to me when I whistled a tune, “Girls who whistle and roosters who crow should have their necks wrung in good time.” According to her idea of what a “proper girl” should be and the views of that time, that just wasn’t done.

That’s right, Inge—wise sayings full of wisdom stand the test of time and still hold their meaning and significance. Feel free to pass them on.

the saying about “turning your neck” — I heard that one too. My grandma was born in 1904 and my grandpa in 1900. Grandma grew up in a village in the Haßberge in a devout Catholic household, and so when my eldest was born, I was told that I shouldn’t hang up any laundry between the years, meaning until Three Kings’ Day. Because that’s when you hang up your burial shroud. My eldest was born two days before New Year’s Eve. Back in ’69, there weren’t any clothes dryers yet, and a baby needs fresh diapers several times a day — Pampers and the like hardly existed yet, and if they did, they were outrageously expensive. Oh wow, Grandma and I really clashed over that, because I told her I didn’t see why I should let the diaper pail sit there for 10 days, quite apart from the germs that would build up. Strangely enough, Grandpa sided with me and made it clear that where there’s a baby, things have to be clean.

Best, Inge

For me, two sayings have taken on special meaning.
The first: “Show those who want to see you fall that you can fly.”
And the second: “Whenever disaster strikes, ask yourself if it will still matter a year from now.”
You can get through anything, even when it seems hopeless at times—and then you look back and think, “It wasn’t that bad after all.”

What a wonderful idea, Ina!

Inge, those are all great—and in some cases funny—quotes you’ve listed there. My favorite is the anecdote about the stinky diaper pail. Yeah, I wouldn’t have cared about the saying either. Anyone who’s ever smelled 10-day-old diapers isn’t afraid of a shroud anymore *laughs*

Here’s a saying from me that often helps me make decisions in life and that actually sums up my entire outlook on life in one sentence:

Love it, change it, or leave it.

And here’s another saying that was perfect for my first daughter’s birth announcement (she was born prematurely and weighed 1,100 grams), but which applies to all newborns:

Small enough to hold in one hand, and big enough to fill our lives.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to figure out who came up with these two pieces of wisdom.

I, too, grew up with lots of wisdom from my grandma and have passed it on to my children.
Once, I broke the “law of the laundry.” My uncle died—he had jawbone cancer—and I felt like I was to blame for his death. I’ve never done laundry between Christmas and New Year’s again.
So many things were and are dismissed as superstition, but I believe in them.
Grandma always told stories about the “woman with the second sight.” She always predicted things. Two examples: “The bride will wear black”—the fiancé had a fatal accident the day before the wedding; 2: “Klaus will come home on a handcart,” Klaus had fallen from the apple tree—which was still tall back then—while picking apples and broke his neck. He was brought home on a handcart.
Grandma spoke Low German, so it sounds a little different in that dialect.
However, this woman didn’t use her gift to make money, and even when asked, she couldn’t say what would happen. It was always an “intuition” when such a prediction came.

When I was younger, I used to worry that I, too, had such a “gift” (which felt more like a curse to me). Someone would die whenever I saw the person who had most recently passed away. This could happen while I was shopping or anywhere else, and it terrified me. Thank God that phase has passed and it only happens very rarely now, but when it does, the shock is all the greater.
There are people who thought I was “a little off my rocker,” but unfortunately, that’s really how it happened—even though I would have gladly done without it.

I place a lot of value on sayings and words of wisdom. There’s a lot of truth to those so-called “farmers’ rules,” too. There’s so much between heaven and earth that you can’t explain, but it happens.

Best regards, Marlies

No, Marlies, I know what you’re describing too; it was the same for me. Whenever someone in the family died, I would dream about it. For a while, it got so bad that I hardly dared go to bed and sleep. But I was able to put a stop to it; I kept telling myself, “You don’t want this, you don’t need this, and I’m not going to dream that kind of crap anymore,” and then, thank God, it stopped. And it’s clear to me that there are things between heaven and earth that we know little about or can barely even imagine. Even today, I still have premonitions, which usually don’t mean anything good, and if I’ve learned one thing in my almost 70 years of life, it’s this: listen to your gut, Inge; it’ll save you from many a nasty surprise.

Best regards, Inge

An vielen Sprüchen und Weisheiten ist auch was Wahres dran. Klingt ja spannend bei Euch, und teilweise auch gruselig.

Spontan fällt mir da der Spruch ein "Eigener Herd ist lobenswert". Das stimmt. Weiß aber nicht mehr, ob er von meiner Ur-Oma stammt oder von meiner Mutti.
Hatte früher ne zeitlang mit Ex-Schwiegereltern in einem Haus gelebt. Das ging auf Dauer nicht gut.
"Jeder Tag ist ein Geschenk des Lebens", keine Ahnung, wo ich den mal gelesen habe, aber ich bin froh über jeden neuen Tag, den ich lebe.

Vieles krieg ich gar nicht mehr zusammen.

Das mit der Wäsche nicht aufhängen zw. Silvester und Neujahr, kenn ich auch. Mach ich heute noch so. Bin nicht abergläubisch, aber da ist schon was dran.

Oder: "Wenn Du eine Freundin hast, mußt Du sie verstehn
           und nicht immer hier und da, ihre Fehler sehn.
            Schon mit Liebe und verzeih, Du bist auch nicht fehlerfrei."

Das heißt, jeder sollte erst bei sich anfangen, bevor er über andere urteilt.

Ein Spruch von meiner Mutti fällt mir grad ein, weil ich früher sehr schüchtern war, und hab mich nix getraut. Sie meinte dann: "die kochen auch alle nur mit Wasser, und machen beim Ka......n  die Knie krumm" Das hat mir oft geholfen.

Auf mein Bauchgefühl hör ich sehr oft. Hat mich noch nie getäuscht.

liebe Grüße

“There are no difficult children; there are only difficult life circumstances.”
Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find out who said this.

This quote has been with me for over 22 years.

That’s how it is—just as there’s no such thing as bad weather, only clothing unsuitable for the weather.
My grandma once said at a wedding when it was raining, **“For the unlucky, it rains into the veil; for the lucky, into the grave.”**

Best regards, Inge

The forum here at CP is truly an educational experience! Many of these quotes are new to me, like the one about doing laundry between Christmas and New Year’s… Our Pilates instructor often posts quotes in the studio. One that comes to mind right now: “One should give in to temptations—who knows if they’ll come around again.” (Oscar Wilde)
I’ve always liked the quote from *The Little Prince* by Saint-Exupéry: “On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur” (One sees clearly only with the heart.)

My mother always used to say to me when I was a child: “Nice on top, shameful

below.” She would say that when, for example, I was wearing damaged stockings or had a hole in my undershirt—in other words, in places hidden by other pretty, clean clothes—because I didn’t want to darn the holes. 

Whenever I didn’t feel like doing something that really should have been done right away, my mother would always say to me: *Yeah, yeah, tomorrow, tomorrow, just not today, that’s what all lazy people say* grrr, that usually got me

Best regards, Inge

At the beginning of the thread, I wrote that I would also share one of my special sayings with you. In the meantime, so many sayings and words of wisdom have been written down here, and they often made me smile. Most of the time, we probably remember the sayings from our childhood, the things our parents or grandparents always used to say to us.

But there are also sayings that are not just funny or give us the creeps (like the one about hanging up laundry) — no, there are also some that carry us through difficult times. I have one such saying to offer:

At 44, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time I had a family, a house, a job — everything was completely normal, and then came this diagnosis. Of course I was very shocked and fell into a deep hole. You then have to deal with topics that you would actually like to push very far away. Suppressing them doesn’t help; the thoughts catch up with you anyway.

At that time, I was active in an online crafting group. I had only been active there for half a year, and my crafting friends wanted to support me emotionally. They secretly organized a card campaign. Everyone who wanted to sent me a card with encouraging words. So many arrived, and I shed many tears over the compassion of strangers.

One handmade card among them spoke to me especially. And on it was the following saying:

"The little bird in the storm – nothing can frighten it, neither wind nor rain. It
knows that behind the clouds its sun is still shining." by Theresia von Lisieux.

The card went up on my pinboard, and I could always see it whenever I needed confidence.

Now don’t be sad while reading this — it turned out well. After surgery, chemo, and radiation, I was at home for a year and then fought my way back into life. That’s how it is: everyone has their own challenges in life that they have to master. In any case, the saying helped me to "stay on course" and not lose hope.

Best wishes from Ina

Oh Ina, what an encouraging story! Thank you so much for sharing this very personal experience with us!

As a healthy person, it’s impossible to even imagine the worries and fears you suddenly face in such a threatening situation. When thoughts like that cross my mind sometimes (hopefully nothing will happen to my children / my husband / me), I push them aside as quickly as possible. How wonderful that so many people were able to give you strength during this difficult time, and that—after what must have been a very hard period—you managed to find your way back to a full life. The mindfulness that this struggle has given you shines through in every line you write.

The saying that comforted you during that time is beautiful, positive, and encouraging. Thank you for that. I’ll keep it close to my heart and bring it out whenever someone around me—or I myself—needs it.

Warmest regards, Sonja

I also agree with Sonja that you are sharing this personal experience with us. Thank you.
Honestly, I had tears in my eyes while reading your story.

I’m always quick to tears anyway, and now in this difficult time even more so, because I miss my family and that personal closeness so much. Terrible homesickness for home.

One saying from my great-grandma also comes to mind  "Long thread, lazy girl".

There are actually hundreds of sayings and prophecies that have helped you here or there in life.
"Don’t put anything on the back burner" ,  "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today".

Supposedly, if it rains into the veil at the wedding, there will be tears in the marriage.
That was really true for me; it rained on my wedding day.
Or if 2 couples get married in the same year, then one marriage will go wrong.
My ex-sister-in-law and I got married in the same year, and now we are both divorced once—crazy how some things come true.

Yes Ina, you’ve started a really wonderful thread; so many lovely sayings from memory are coming back to light.

wishing everyone a lovely afternoon
we’ll be having cappuccino and muffins here later.

when my thread was too long during my training, the master craftswoman would say, folks, open the window, Inge wants to sew :-)

Ina, your story reminded me in a certain way of my own fate. In 1980 I had uterine cancer, which cost me my first marriage and at times brought me some of the darkest days of my life.
As a person, I was at rock bottom; I even had the pills in my hand to end it all, but at that moment I was sitting in the children's room of my three girls, watching them sleep. The longer I sat there, the clearer the thought became inside me: so now you're at the very bottom, now you have two options, either you give up completely and leave the children to that bastard, or you start on the way back up, because really there is only this one way. I took it. What almost broke me was the fact that my ex wanted to kill me while he was raping me; what saved me was my sister, because she came in and pulled him off me. I have to say I came out of this story stronger; against all expectations, the whole thing still gave me so much strength that I was able to start my life anew. Fate still had something wonderful in store for me: it gave me the man of my life, and we are celebrating our 31st wedding anniversary later this month. So it actually takes a lot to knock me off my feet, but this stupid pandemic has really taken its toll on me.

Best wishes, Inge

Dear Inge,
after reading your post, I was shocked, to say the least. You’ve been through a lot and survived. Enjoy your life today all the more with your husband, your three daughters, and your many grandchildren. The pandemic won’t last forever—don’t let it get you down just yet!
Warm regards, Ina

Dear Inge,
I can relate all too well to what you’ve been through. Reading this took me back to the past and really shook me up. I, too, have three children and was married to a psychopath—a two-faced bastard. Outwardly, he was the friendly, cheerful guy, but woe betide anyone if he came home...
If my two older children hadn’t gotten the police to take my youngest and me out of the house that night, that bastard would have killed me.
So after six weeks in a women’s shelter, I was happily divorced. But he kept terrorizing me for a good 15 years after that. Now he’s with someone who doesn’t have much to laugh about.
As Grandma always said, “everyone gets what they deserve.”
Best, Marlies

It really makes you shudder reading your stories — I’m truly at a loss for words — and yet you’ve all come through it as strong women.

As my grandma always used to say: “There’s a lid for every pot.”

For me, this saying rang true: “Love is blind; once you get married, you can suddenly see again.”
Over the course of my marriage, I got to know a different side of my ex-husband. Not as extreme as what you went through, but he caused me “emotional damage,” so to speak.
He was a miser times ten, wanted to take my children away from me, or rather he wanted sole custody, influenced the children when they visited him every two weeks, and never stuck to agreements..... I had nightmares at night.... To my ex, I was “a nobody.”
He once said to me, “We need machines here, not spare parts.”
My self-esteem was at rock bottom.
My divorce was no walk in the park.

But my dear ex-sister-in-law stood by me and went with me to the youth welfare office. I was emotionally at the end of my tether, had lost quite a few kilos... and I wasn’t heavy to begin with.
Without help, I wouldn’t have gotten out of it.

Today I’m glad that I have such a treasure — or rather, a Pisces.
Now we’ve already been together for 10 years, and married for 2 of them. On 25 May we’ll celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary.

One last saying to finish with: “Falling down is no art, but getting back up is”, even if it’s with someone else’s help. Doesn’t matter.

And I’m off to bed now, but I’m still so worked up by your story. It really gets to you.
Stay healthy, everyone, and ... together we’re strong