Crazypatterns Story Thread (not an advertising thread)

Dear users, dear authors,
here is the story thread, as suggested in the other thread over there.

The first sentence
: “It’s always fun here on Crazypatterns.”

It’s your turn:
Think of another sentence. The next writer then adds another sentence, and so on—that way, a nice story will unfold. Have fun.
If you don’t want to write a whole sentence, you can also write a single word to continue the story; the next person can then turn it into a sentence if they like.

And after a busy day, this is a wonderful way to unwind :-).

:-)
But you can also stay online all day and all evening

Or just crochet for hours,

And write with all the nice people 

Or let yourself be inspired by many great patterns.

Then rummage through your yarn stash for the right yarn, only to change your mind again about what to crochet after all. :)

That’s what Paula thought to herself as she signed up for the platform.

But first, she set about uploading a pretty photo of herself as her profile picture.

“Which one should I choose?” she wondered as she looked through her photos.

And she decided on the pretty photo from her last summer vacation, which she... 

In enger Umarmung mit Peter zeigte.

But was that really such a good idea?

She looked through her photos one more time and ended up finding a better one after all, namely...

... one from the last carnival!

“At least there’s no guy on it,” she thought with a smile.

Now the silly picture with the pink curlers adorned her profile.

And don’t forget the pink apron and the purple cleaning bucket—the perfect place to hide the bottle of Feigling.

Paula smiled as she remembered the incident with the coward.

She was supposed to drink the Feigling, but since she can’t handle alcohol, she just poured it into her gorgeous cleavage.

But that wasn’t such a good idea, considering where the sweet schnapps had been.

But that actually turned into the first idea for a pattern...

The crocheted prototype looked so good that all their female friends

.... begged her to definitely write a pattern for it. 

... but it’s not so easy to write a pattern for this little coward-hider ....

Where on earth should the cowardly hider go? Thigh, ...

Everyone wanted to recreate the moisture-ingress filter for today’s party-going woman in the form of a gray-haired head with his nose buried in her cleavage. 

...maybe under the armpit?

Oops, we posted at the same time, and I had a mental block :-D.
Just delete it.  

The moisture-proof filter for today’s party-going woman—in the form of a gray-haired head with its nose buried in her cleavage—was a very funny idea from her friend. Under the armpit would also be very practical.

She was a bit at a loss.

The moisture-intrusion filter for today’s party-going woman—in the form of a gray-haired head with its nose buried in her cleavage—has yet another advantage. It scares the guys off (maybe). After all, what man wants to share a woman’s breast?

So she browsed Crazypatterns to get inspiration for her pattern.

And very quickly, she found what she was looking for.

She found a pattern for a head. Actually, it was an anti-glasses-misplacer, but the one with gray hair could make any neckline look nicer. But how do you make it especially absorbent?

Paula mentally ran through various materials.

That’s when she came up with the idea of using the garden hose.

That you can easily connect a garden hose to a handheld vacuum cleaner

Unfortunately, the handheld vacuum had a malfunction and blew air instead of sucking it up.

And so the gloomy thoughts and lint were blown away, and the wonderful bobble yarn she’d been searching for so long came into view, and that’s when an idea struck her...

I wonder if you could crochet around the garden hose nozzle with this?

“The only way to find out is to try,” Paula thought to herself, and got started.

She quickly worked the required chain stitches and closed the round with a slip stitch.
“Hmm,” she thought, “double crochet or treble crochet?”

Of course stitches—they seal things better.

And that pink yarn really looks great wrapped around the garden hose

Paula was making good progress, but then ...

The pink yarn was used up

What bad luck. What am I supposed to do now?
I could just quickly ......

"Unravel Peter’s pink slipover—I’ve never liked it anyway."

However, he thinks this pink monstrosity looks especially good on him...

“Fate!” she thought, “I guess I’ll have to go shopping for yarn again, but this time I’ll really just get the two skeins I still need.”

When she saw so much beautiful yarn in the window of the craft store, her plan to buy only as much as she actually needed was once again thrown into serious doubt.

Sunday lunchtime—what a bummer! The little yarn shop around the corner was closed. So she dialed the emergency yarn hotline :-) and found out....!

.... that the number was no longer assigned.

She called directory assistance, and they told her...

....that she’d never heard of an emergency yarn center before...

... So should I unravel the sweater vest after all???

But the friendly lady at the information desk—who described herself as a knitting addict—had a brilliant idea:

@ Arni: I didn’t mean to ignore you. My idea was that the protagonist was still on the phone when she was thinking about unraveling.

What if I order my yarn online?

Then it’ll be here as early as tomorrow, and then.....

... but then she had a flash of inspiration: in a town about 200 km away, stores are open on Sunday

“I can keep crocheting without a worry,” she thought.

“But how on earth am I supposed to get there? It’ll take me days on my bike!!!!” she thought, but then chance came to her rescue......

....by, in fact,....

... she ran into her neighbor, who was driving to the Sunday shopping event and would be happy to give her a ride.

So they drove 200 km to buy wool

Since she was sitting in the passenger seat, she was finally able to devote herself to unraveling that hideous sweater... because whether she bought new yarn or not, that monstrosity HAD to be destroyed! And you don’t just throw away yarn...  

.... When they arrived at the yarn shop ....

Fortunately, she was done unraveling. She rushed straight into the store, because......

She spotted a yarn cake in the shop window and fell in love with it

So she went to the store to buy a yarn cake with a pretty gradient, but with so many options, how are you supposed to decide...

...after about 5 minutes, there were already 4 wonderful Bobbels in her shopping basket...

and after 10 minutes already 10, help, if this keeps up then.....

....she would have to take out a loan.

But you do like spending money on your hobby.

But then there’s also Peter I, grumbling about the lovely slipover and the mountains of wool piling up in the bedroom 

Though it’s really his own fault... if only he’d finally convert the attic for me...

Then I’d finally have my own room for my beloved yarn cakes. He wouldn’t have to keep complaining because I.....

.... fall back into a yarn-buying frenzy

Or at least he wouldn’t notice the yarn-buying frenzy right away, because she could then immediately hide the yarn in the study—uhhh—put it away...

Paula pushed her guilty conscience aside.

She thought, “Since I’ve already driven this far, ....”

.... I could also do some proper shopping and put Bobbel 15 and 16 in the shopping cart

As Paula placed Bobbel No. 20 in her basket, she noticed a small promotional sign on the shelf that read....

"From 30 Bobbel, you get 2 free"

Paula thought, “Great, then I can get some more right away. I could knit a new slipover for Peter.”
So.......

....she promptly put another 10 Bobbel in her cart. When she was about to go to checkout with them..

Her gaze fell on a huge sign
= ANNIVERSARY SALE =
EVERY 50TH CUSTOMER gets a 50% special discount today



Well then....

... she added another 40 bobbles to the cart, paid for each skein individually, so she was guaranteed to buy 1 skein with a 50% discount.

“Peter is going to think I’m crazy,” she thought.

But that hardly mattered—the main thing was that she had a whole truckload of luck!!!!!
But then something unexpected happened......

Just as the friendly saleswoman was entering the amount for the third bobble into the register, a loud siren went off and Paula was surprised by a shower of confetti because....

She was the 10,000th customer

And got the entire shopping for free!

And she immediately regretted only choosing 70 Bobbel.

Meanwhile, the unsuspecting Peter was at home, lost in his own thoughts...

He really wanted to wear his beloved pink slipover over his mint-colored shirt today... where on earth could it be?

In a panic, he ran through the whole house, starting in the laundry room: No, it wasn’t hanging on the drying rack, nor was it in the washing machine...

Then it dawned on him: she hadn’t really done that....

She knew perfectly well just how much that sweater vest meant to him...

He ran off. In a panic, toward the clothing donation bin.....

He quickly flung open the hatch. It was completely empty.
What now? ....

So he had to wait for Paula so he could confront her...

Shortly afterward, he heard a car approaching.

The front door slammed shut with a loud bang, as always. Paula came toward him, beaming with joy, and .........

She stood rooted to the spot when she saw the panic in his eyes...

“What happened?” Paula asked, startled.

(I’m bumping this thread up again because it got buried. )

I really need my favorite sweater and can’t find it anywhere.
Where is it?
Paula turned pale.
But then she had a brilliant idea. - Unfortunately, your sweater got mixed in with the last hot wash.
I’m really sorry, but ........

That has shrunk a lot... 

But, honey, I have some good news for you.

I went to that store with the nice neighbor today. You can’t imagine what happened to me there.

I actually did ...

"...I saw a pattern for a super-trendy men’s sleeveless sweater! If you want, I’ll stop by the store again next week and buy the pattern and some matching yarn!"... 

And to her surprise, Peter replied:

Oh, come on—you brought back such beautiful orange yarn; I’m sure you can make me a new sweater out of it.

“Yes, but the pattern…” stammered
Paula, in a clumsy attempt to somehow find a way out…

...somehow talk him out of the typical women’s colors.

But Peter...

She insisted on that beautiful, bright orange, so Paula had no choice but to...

... than to knit yet another men’s sweater in a “women’s” color.

“Should I knit in black as a secondary color?” she asked in a last-ditch attempt to infuse the sweater with at least a touch of masculinity.

Peter replied: “Oh, a second color sounds good, but black is too harsh for me—I’d rather have a nice red”...

I’m really sorry about that, though. Unfortunately, I don’t have any red yarn in stock.
You want your sweater as soon as possible, so I’d have to go shopping again.

Look, I have some really great brown yarn here—it goes wonderfully with orange.

I’ll start on your sweater right away, then ........

Peter turned around without a word and walked away...
What was he up to again now, Paula thought

Less than two hours later, he stood in the doorway again with a triumphant smile… though that smile wasn’t the only thing he was carrying with him…

... He had actually talked his mother into giving him several skeins of bright red yarn and brought them home!

“You can combine these with the orange!” he beamed.

Enough is enough, she thought, as she began to get annoyed.

So she replied in a friendly but firm tone...

"You’re not gay, I hope, and you shouldn’t look that way either! You’re not getting an orange-red sweater!"

His eyes widened to the size of wagon wheels...how could she dare? How could she possibly dare to bring up that which had been hidden so deeply within him for so long....