Absolute beginner hoping for friendly help without being snapped at

Hi, I'm an absolute beginner and I still have quite a few things that sometimes give me a headache.
Since I already asked somewhere else and that person coldly told me I should just go to Facebook, I wanted to try my luck here:

Does anyone know of any videos for this trick? http://needlenoodles.com/home/?q=node/139http://www.blog.oomanoot.com/the-perfect-crochet-color-change/ or how to make the bottom of a bag that is rectangular at the base. Somehow the bottom of the bag doesn't look the way it does in the
pattern.  (see below ) 

I would also be interested in how to crochet this one. A friend would like this
and I don't understand how to get the face right when it is crocheted in spiral rounds;
how do you get the curve in the same spot in the
face every time? http://aphid777.deviantart.com/art/Deadpool-593227418http://66.media.tumblr.com/b7d0432712c1c705e93f20dea53f7f23/tumblr_inline_o1wmywV9iJ1qfosqa_500.jpg(the pattern on the face ) http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Jnii180mgqs/VoQyWG8HUJI/AAAAAAAABG0/CJrm0iNXFGc/s1600/Gustav3BAJA.jpg

I would also be interested in how to set eyes in so deeply when they are safety eyes that are not sewn on
. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ls30ZKnywD0/U7Hhjj3R40I/AAAAAAAALEA/Q26tFLWnV2c/s1600/Sweetheart-Pigs.jpg

I'd like to make something like this for my bunnies that I've already crocheted: https://sanihachidori.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/url.jpg but I'm not completely clear on how it works; the bunnies are supposed to get different hats.

Sewing on the body parts is still quite difficult for me too. I have lots of ideas, but I realize there are simply still too many unanswered questions to
start them. So I want to get these questions out of the way and try to understand what effects the different stitches have. 

https://rachchua.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/5-things-ive-learned-about-amigurumi/How do you crochet zippers into amigurumi, backpacks, and bags? Or rather, I also wondered how you attach the sewn lining to the crocheted bags.  

I have now tried this pattern 4 times and somehow I can't get it to turn out as rectangular as in the pictures:
Pattern text removed. Mod.
Sorry for all the questions, but through videos and patterns I have already taught myself quite a bit; some things are still not clear to me, and I would really like to understand them.

Hi levi-mcdon,
Welcome to the forum and the site.
We definitely won’t be mean to you, so don’t worry about that. Everyone was a beginner once. I think everyone here can relate to what it’s like to be new and have lots of questions. I’m sure the pros will also chime in about the techniques and so on.

Please don’t copy pattern texts into your posts, as that’s not really fair to the authors. Since you’re new, you obviously couldn’t have known that. If necessary, just post a link.
If it’s a pattern from the Crazypatterns shop, you can always ask the author for help, either via private message or email. Alternatively, I can do that for you. Which would you prefer?

I wish you every success.

You can achieve a cleaner color change in spiral rounds by pulling the new color through the last stitch of the round.
You apply the same principle when changing colors within a section. Here, you usually work from a chart that specifies when each color is used.
It’s best to follow the pattern at first, because “trying it out on your own” is very difficult, especially for beginners. You achieve the curves by strategically increasing and decreasing stitches at the appropriate spots, but you should be

a bit more experienced for that as well. I pin body parts in place with lots of pins beforehand to make sure nothing goes wrong. Take your time with this step.

If I want eye sockets beneath safety eyes, I don’t close the fasteners all the way beforehand. After the head is firmly stuffed, I thread the needle under the eye, pull it back through the head, insert it into the exact same gap at the back, come out at the other eye, pull the thread tight, tie a knot, and only then press the safety fasteners shut. It’s a bit fiddly, but it works (I’m sure there are even better pro tips out there, but this works for me)
. It all takes time and practice, though. So don’t give up and don’t get discouraged!